5 Depressing Movies About Love

As I maximize the amount of rest I get so I can get over this stupid mono bullshit, I spent a lot of time in bed this weekend. Since I can’t drink… *sigh* and let’s face it, can’t physically sleep for 48 hours straight, in between football games (moment of silence for my Lions, please!) I’ve been watching crap-tv looking at you, I didn’t know I was pregnant and movies.

Sunday morning, I wavered between going back to sleep and watching a movie. I scrolled through my OnDemand choices and made the mistake of getting excited to see Blue Valentine playing on Showtime.

Mistake?

Yes, that’s right, I said mistake.

Why I love me some Ryan Gosling & Michelle Williams, the movie Blue Valentine completely bummed me out!! I could’ve, and maybe should’ve shut it off — or gone back to sleep — but since the movie did a bunch of flashbacks & time-jumps, the rom-com lover in me was anxious for some level of a resolution – whether the couple remained together or not.

I realize rom-coms aren’t realistic.

Life happens, and it certainly doesn’t end with a couple driving off into the sunset, living happily ever after.

Realistically speaking, certain couples aren’t meant to be together; just because one gal may be good for a guy, the guy may not necessarily be good for the gal. I respect that Blue Valentine was trying to illustrate that… but it didn’t like it.

Made me think back on other movies that, going in, I hoped would at least have glimpses of an uplifting romance, some of these even advertised the pseudo-romantic moments in previews to reduce the depressing tone! But the movies I’m about to list only left me feeling anxious, drained of life… and wanting those 2 hours back. I suppose I should give you a spoiler alert… but let’s be honest here; my real warning? If you haven’t seen these flicks: this is not a list of “recommendations.” Pop a couple klonopin & read on…

  1. Leaving Las Vegas. My first clue that this movie would be bad should’ve been Nicolas Cage, but then again, he hadn’t made a bunch of Cameron Poe clones yet, so how was I supposed to know that he’d remain a depressing alcoholic and Elisabeth Shue would remain a prostitute? I don’t need perfection, but the movie didn’t go anywhere, and I could’ve easily walked out after I finished my bucket of over-buttered popcorn and wouldn’t have missed much. I still don’t understand how Nic Cage robbed won an Oscar for this shit… over Richard Dreyfuss in Mr Holland’s Opus (LOVE!!!) & Sean Penn in Dead Man Walking?! And shut the front door, Mel Gibson wasn’t even nominated for his acting role in Braveheart? WTF?! 
  2. When A Man Loves A Woman. I went into this movie thinking I’d see Sally or Annie from When Harry Met Sally or Sleepless in Seattle, respectively… instead I got a very dark, alcoholic Meg Ryan. This movie does offer a little more of a resolution than Leaving Las Vegas, but it’s a tough one to watch. Highlight? Falling in love with the brilliant Tina Majorino. I don’t know how little Tina didn’t get an Oscar for that role. Maybe because no one could tolerate the depressing movie. 
  3. The Wrestler. I was so excited to see this movie… I heard so many great things about Marisa Tomei & Mickey Rourke… and Evan Rachel Wood too? Yes, please! Then I sat through the painful 109 minutes and, again, without much of a resolution, I was the one who felt defeated as the credits rolled. 
  4. What Dreams May Come. Robin Williams is an incredible actor, but this film sucked the life out of me. Robin Williams dies, his wife kills himself after he dies, and we get to see the different “afterlifes” we might just face if we kill ourselves instead of dying naturally. What about the hell their children are living in? Just thinking about this movie bums me out. 
  5. Blue Valentine.  Although I saw a couple of brief similarities, Ryan Gosling was not reprising his role as Noah Calhoun. And I don’t enjoy a world where Ryan Gosling is a high-school dropout loser, who’s only goal is finding a job that allows him the “luxury” of being able to have a beer or two before he goes into work at 8am. Yes, I do love my beer, but not first thing in the morning! Call me crazy, but I expect more from my men. Although I was somewhat relieved the doomed couple broke up in the end, I hated the awkwardness I felt throughout the movie. And afterward, I couldn’t stop thinking about how, at the root of it, Blue Valentine is essentially a movie about an abortion that shouldn’t have been stopped. Sad & completely depressing, yes? Because the little girl is SO damn adorable. But now I’m all concerned about her future. Will she ever find out who her bio-dad is? Will Ryan Gosling’s character still play a major role in her life? Or did he walk away from it all and drink himself to death? Yeah, I get a little too invested into movies sometimes, especially when children are involved. 
So there ya have it. 5 depressing movies that may have included some incredible performances by some talented actors (except for YOU, Nic Cage… Oscar-snatcher), these movies affected me so negatively, I highly doubt I’ll ever watch any of them again. 
Do you agree with my list?

What depressing movie would you like to add to this list? 

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5 Comments

  1. Posted January 10, 2012 at 9:59 am | Permalink

    You are hilarious. And dude, I watch I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant too….I’m so boring!

  2. Posted January 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm | Permalink

    Thanks, Eve!!! I’ve never had the time to watch shows like I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant until this weekend… it was good for a laugh!! I mean seriously, there’s no way I could’ve just gone about my life for 8-9 months without knowing I was pregnant. Some of the stories were relatively believable… but… COME ON! The stupidity of some of these ladies… ugh.

  3. Posted January 12, 2012 at 1:16 pm | Permalink

    I dunno, Kel… seriously, what did you expect from those flicks? None of them were sposeta be the feel-good movie of the year… they MEANT to be a downer. People watch “Terms of Endearment” or “Requiem for Dream” to have a good cry, and maybe help them with a bit of perspective. Sad songs they say…

  4. Posted January 12, 2012 at 2:42 pm | Permalink

    I totally hear what you’re saying Dave. I get wanting to cry over a good movie &/or Adele for that matter! But I want to feel empowered and somewhat settled at the end of it, not exhausted — or worse than I did going in, ya know? But… to each his/her own, I suppose.

  5. Posted January 12, 2012 at 7:16 pm | Permalink

    Then I might recommend “Funny People”, “Smart People”, or Patton Oswalt’s latest special! 🙂 Keep up the good work.

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    Kelli Williams

    Kelli Williams

    Keeping up with 2 little girls, writing assignments, music gigs, the house, laundry, ETC, backwards, wearing ass kicking boots and a smile, without spilling my beer. Ok, ok, so I spill my beer, but my floors have never been more germ-free since I started putting a little alcohol on them. Who needs ammonia...

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