But what CAN you do?

How much time do you waste worrying about what you can’t do instead of focusing on what you can? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the positive attitude I’ve developed over the last several months kinda went out the window recently with all that’s going on with my niece. The situation pisses me off, makes me sad, and gives me anxiety wondering when and if the ax is going to fall. What good are any of those emotions doing for me? Not a heck of a lot. But more on that in a few…

First, I’d like to discuss the rage I feel when I see people doing absolutely nothing when they are given many opportunities to contribute. And no, I’m not talking about you or you or even you! I’ve been overwhelmed by the support from many of you over the last month, plus, I know my readers are awesome and would never dream of blowing off someone in need… but you probably have encountered a selfish person like this, yes? These are the people that are so wrapped up in their own bullshit that they likely don’t even realize what they’re doing. Now I’m not saying you have to drop everything in your life to dedicate your new purpose to the person in need, but honestly — helping is not that hard. Helping can mean picking up the phone and checking in with the loved one. Helping could be doing a load of dishes, taking out the trash, etc. Helping could mean allowing a person to take a break from their situation for an hour or two. Helping could simply mean walking someone through the door of a new opportunity.

Think about the little things that make a difference in your life. My day can be turned around with a random email/call/positive-blog-comment/etc from a friend… or stranger for that matter! After my recent foot surgery, a friend from high school offered to watch my youngest so the hubs could get back to work during my 3rd week of being off my feet. She came over one day, and kept my youngest at her house for 3 more days after that! Now that is above & beyond… and we are looking forward to returning the favor some day soon. But to my friend, it was a simple thing she could do, and it made a huge difference. Why do some people just… not? Is it pure laziness? Selfishness? That is what I don’t understand. The big picture may SUCK, but take a second to look closer.

The anger I’ve been feeling about this situation has actually driven me to do more than I thought I could for my sister and her family, even living 2 hours away. And as much as I’d love to wave a magic wand over my niece to make her healthy, I can’t. But I also have to stop focusing on that fact. Only seeing the can’t never gets anyone anywhere. Earlier this week, I thought about how losing weight finally ended up happening for me once I let go of the bullshit, let go of the things I actually could live without. Red meat? Soda-pop? Gone. No big deal. Huge portions? Why? Gone. Negativity? See ya! And the weight melted off. I’ve shifted my focus to deal with my niece’s situation in a similar way. Ok, so I can’t be there for my sister every day… but I can help her find Mommas to donate breastmilk since the extreme stress has dwindled her supply. I can check in with my sister, listen & cry with her whenever necessary. I can send all of my prayers, positive energy & love their way. When I can make the trip for a visit, I can help her get caught up with chores, make a meal, while showering my sister & her family with love & big hugs. 
No, we may not be able to fix everything, but why focus on what you can’t do when there’s so many big & little things we can do, within our circle of family & friends and out in the world in general. Just smiling at a stranger could brighten their entire day! You never know what someone else may be going through. I hope you can find the strength to be there for someone today, helping them through it in any way you feel you can. 

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3 Comments

  1. Posted May 21, 2011 at 1:06 am | Permalink

    That’s my girl! You make me proud to be related to you. You go sista!

  2. Posted May 23, 2011 at 2:13 am | Permalink

    I’m just now catching up on my blogs, etc since being home and this made me smile 🙂 Doing something ISN’T that hard at all and I think it often makes the giver feel just as happy for being able to do something small to help someone. Great post!

  3. Posted August 15, 2011 at 9:53 pm | Permalink

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Kelli Williams

    Kelli Williams

    Keeping up with 2 little girls, writing assignments, music gigs, the house, laundry, ETC, backwards, wearing ass kicking boots and a smile, without spilling my beer. Ok, ok, so I spill my beer, but my floors have never been more germ-free since I started putting a little alcohol on them. Who needs ammonia...

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