Day 4: A Song That Makes You Sad

Day 4: A Song that Makes You Sad: Godspeed (Sweet Dreams), The Dixie Chicks

Eight years ago this May, my husband’s oldest brother welcomed his first and only son into the world. 29 days later, he passed away due to a diaphragmatic hernia. I am so grateful we were able to meet this amazing little angel in person, look into his eyes, touch his hands… even if his life was cut way too short. My nephew’s death is still a difficult thing to comprehend. The loss still affects me, as my eyes have been full of tears just typing about it. I’m his Aunt. My heart aches for my brother & sister-in-law and my niece, his immediate family. The loss of a child & brother is something no one should have to experience, especially at such a young age.

The hardest day of our lives, the hubs & I rushed into Detroit from Grand Rapids and scrubbed into see our nephew just as he took his last breath. The family gathered into a tiny room where we each took turns holding our nephew for the first time while saying goodbye to him in the same unimaginable nightmare of a moment. Our little angel was hooked up to machines since birth.

The hubs & I stayed at the hospital all day and had that urge to do something, contribute somehow. That’s usually when we lend our voices. I wanted to sing, and the hubs & I struggled to find an appropriate song. We worked on Walk On by U2… but the morning of the funeral, I was an obvious wreck. I was grateful they decided to play the song I selected for today’s prompt over the sound-system instead. I’ve sang at funerals before, but I never would’ve made it through singing at my nephew’s funeral. And even though I’ve only allowed myself to listen to this particular song a handful of times, as soon as I hear Natalie sing my love will fly to you each night on angels wings… ugh. I’m not a huge country-music fan. But country-folk sure know how to tug, ok rip out the heart-strings. I certainly can’t think of a song that makes me sadder.

I truly believe my nephew is an angel watching over us, even protecting us when necessary. Several weeks ago, my family narrowly missed being involved in a 60-car pile-up. Something told me to stay where we were instead of venturing back to Grand Rapids in a snow & ice storm. We found a hotel that fit our family & our budget perfectly and stayed put. This accident occurred just minutes south of where we stopped, during the same timeframe we would’ve been driving. My little angel’s father was actually in a terrible car accident a couple years ago that he doesn’t remember, but walked away with barely a scratch. If you saw the photo of his truck, you would believe in angels too.

Hold your loved ones close, my friends. Life is precious.

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  1. Posted April 4, 2011 at 4:07 pm | Permalink

    OMG, I started weeping as I read your post!! (I’m still crying!!) As a new mom, the loss of a little one is something I hope I never have to experience. So sorry to hear it had to happen to your family. 🙁

    What a beautiful song to pay for him.

  2. Posted April 4, 2011 at 8:36 pm | Permalink

    I meant “PLAY”! Sometimes I’m incapable of typing.

  3. Posted April 4, 2011 at 8:40 pm | Permalink

    This is my song for my son. I still cry every time I hear it. The other one from The Dixie Chicks that gets me is Lullaby. That’s my song for my daughter.

  4. Posted April 5, 2011 at 12:46 am | Permalink

    I’m pregnant now. Not my first. Not by a longshot. We already have had a loss of a baby. Then the one I’m carrying now was diagnosed with a potentially fatal birth defect. I heard this song the night I found out and *wept* in the shower. I mean the gut-wrenching, soul crushing weeping that you can only do when scared for the very life of your child. There are no guarantees, but we have a surgeon who thinks it can be fully repaired and we’ll get to keep our son. This song still will make me cry though. For the sons I have, and the one I’m waiting for.

    Excellent choice.

  5. Posted April 5, 2011 at 12:57 am | Permalink

    Such a touching story. This sent chills up and down my spine. I count my blessings for my sweet boy every day. My Aunt lost her son 6 weeks after deliver. He was never able to leave the hospital.

    Thinking of your brother tonight.

  6. Posted April 5, 2011 at 6:20 pm | Permalink

    Thanks, friends. It was a very bittersweet post to compose. Although I wouldn’t consider it the easiest, Godspeed (Sweet Dreams) was the first song that popped into my head when I initially glanced over the 30 days of songs prompts.

  7. Posted April 14, 2011 at 2:40 am | Permalink

    true no one should know the loss of a child it all seems so unfair and scars the heart and rips open the soul.

  8. Posted May 7, 2012 at 9:48 am | Permalink

    This song breaks my heart and stings my eyes everytime I hear it.

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    […] of them were premature (i.e. any death under the age of 65). My Father-in-law, infant cousins, nephew and niece; non-blood related friends who FELT like family, people I actually referred to as Mom, […]

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