Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk… beer is another story.

The hubs has been working long hours lately, and so have I. The stress has been very high in our house, but we know it’s a temporary situation. However, it must be said that alcohol is a very necessary ingredient to our sanity these days. 
Several weeks ago, on a snowy early February evening, I stumbled to my fridge to locate dinner ingredients… and some alcohol. Because of our crazy busy schedules, the hubs nor I had the time to shop in at least a week or so. 
Our in-house beer selections were limited. 
Literally. All we had in our nearly naked fridge were limited bottles of beer we could no longer purchase, at least this time of year. 
I poured over my options, knowing full well at least one of these gems would be consumed in a matter of minutes. 
After my extra-long day with my own stress + the kids – the hubs x the snow outside… damn it, I deserved to crack open my all-time favorite beer: Michigan Brewing Co’s Screaming Pumpkin Ale. 
Wait, what? I managed to keep one bottle of beer for over a year?! Not quite. I found one hiding in a pumpkin-beer variety pack at a local liquor store last summer. Knowing Michigan Brewing Company was closed, and no longer producing such things, I couldn’t resist. I knew it could’ve been skunked… or just not as good as I remembered, but I had to take the chance. 
This. Beer. Was. Delicious! Screaming Pumpkin was exactly what the doctor ordered. The aroma of pumpkin, nutmeg, cinnamon & clove before every sip was like therapy in a pint-glass. I savored every sip… knowing full well that was likely the last opportunity I would have to drink this particular beer. Very bittersweet feeling. 
However, as the kids screamed through dinner, whining about what we were forcing them to eat… my youngest decided that she wanted to sit on my lap while she finished her dinner & milk. We normally don’t allow such things. Sometimes, ya gotta pick your battles. 
I reluctantly allowed it, as Sedona promised she would clear her plate. Sedona walked around the table to me, and as she jumped onto my lap with her cup of milk, and, as if it were in slow motion, she promptly spilled the entire cup of milk all over me, from head to toe. 
Within this slow-motion scene, my eyes went directly to my precious beer, as Sedona came close to knocking over the last 1/3 of my Screaming Pumpkin I was clutching in my hands as well. It swirled around in the pint-glass, and I held my breath… prepping myself to place my mouth under any drops that may escape the glass. Thankfully… I didn’t spill a drop of my beer. 
That’s right, I had my priorities. There was no way I was spilling my liquid gold!
As Sedona apologized for spilling what looked & felt like a gallon of milk, I told her I was grateful she didn’t spill my last Screaming Pumpkin EVER. Oh the horror. 
I had to strip down to nothing, as I was soaked in milk from head to toe, down to my undies. While the hubs took Sedona upstairs to change her out of her milky clothes into her jammies, I threw my clothes into the wash & started a load of laundry, naked. 
Then, the doorbell rang.
Oh yes… those pesky helpful neighbor-kids wanting to shovel for us have such impeccable timing.  
Natalie came close to opening the door I was standing about 10 feet away from in my birthday suit, as I screamed DON’T ANSWER IT! 
The hubs came running downstairs wondering why we couldn’t answer the door — screaming “YES, PLEASE answer it, Natalie! I’d rather pay a kid $20 than break my back…” and then looked right at my pasty-white naked butt… and we promptly had a family giggle-fest we were all in desperate need of. 

If you enjoyed this post, take a moment to chuckle at me some more by reading my Grocery Shopping With Children Should Be An Olympic Event post.

CHEERS!
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One Comment

  1. Posted March 18, 2013 at 3:25 pm | Permalink

    Hilarious!

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    Kelli Williams

    Kelli Williams

    Keeping up with 2 little girls, writing assignments, music gigs, the house, laundry, ETC, backwards, wearing ass kicking boots and a smile, without spilling my beer. Ok, ok, so I spill my beer, but my floors have never been more germ-free since I started putting a little alcohol on them. Who needs ammonia...

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