Don’t Judge a Book by it’s Cover.

Have you ever looked at a title of a book, website, movie, TV show, etc and immediately *think* you know exactly what the person behind the concept is thinking?breafastclubjudge

Come on, you know you have.

One of the reasons I chose the title of my blog was because it was something I actually said… a lot. I think I may have started saying Momma Needs a BEER! before I was officially a Momma. It felt like a natural fit.

The downside of going with a fun, somewhat edgy title for your blog?

The unsolicited judgement.

And I get both extremes!

The nervous, passive-aggressive chuckle: “Huh, you have a ‘blog’? And it’s Momma Needs a Beer?! Oh, um, kay… that’s cute *under their breath as they walk away* —> alcoholic….”

Really, people? Sure, I suppose I could be that Momma. I could. Anyone can be anyone on the internet, right? But, I would love to see how attitudes may change if these same judgy-judys just took a second to actually read my blog, and maybe, oh, I dunno, got to know me before assuming I’m pounding a case of beer every night. Come on, I haven’t done that since my 20s. 

On the flip-side, there’s the positive feedback, such as “Momma Needs a Beer?! HA!! BRILLIANT!!! Where have you been all my life?!” 

Yeah, yeah, I realize that sounds incredibly narcissistic, but honestly, people do say that to me.

And then… there’s the silent judgment.

… which is always fun. How do I know? Oh, believe me, when you’re a writer, you can feel it. The lack of responses to pictures, tweets, posts… and the painful lack of invitations & offers in your inbox. Ouch.

There are days I have to make the tough choice to — get this — shut down my social media channels.

I know… crazy, huh? I apologize for the pain I just caused your jaw.

And yes, I’m happy for my friends, and I like hearing about awesome events… I just… wish I could be there with them, ya know, instead of sitting at home  watching photos scrolling on a feed from my laptop, without a bra, in my elastic-waisted-pants that probably haven’t seen the inside of a washer in 2 weeks.

So I find myself suffering from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) as I hear about brands who personally invite fellow bloggers to events I will never get an invite to, partially because of the title of my blog. Looking at you, Disney Social Media Moms and many other events meant for, ya know, the more “serious” &/or big bloggers. Doesn’t matter that I wrote about some very heavy & serious topics regarding my niece’s tragedy, or even a week-long, detailed series on Disney World last year… I’m not holding my breath waiting for an invite to these “serious” events.

I’ve always felt like MommaNeedsABeer.com is a space I personally built & I play by my own rules. I shouldn’t have to make excuses or defend my choices.

If I feel like writing about beer for a month, then switch back to a post about parenting, or randomly throwing a recipe out there, etc — to quote Cartman “Whateva, I do what I want!”

The trade-off? Writing what I believe in without allowing the FOMO get to me. Or the unsolicited judgment. Or the stats falling. Or the money not rolling in from offers.

So I’ve been focusing my attention on what’s authentic to me.

If brands don’t want to work with or even be associated with me because they have an issue with the title of my blog… or because I write too much about beer, don’t get deep enough into beer, or focus too much on my home-town or state, or don’t write enough about my kids, or write too much about my kids… etc, etc, that’s not necessarily my problem. And… I probably didn’t want to work with that particular judgy brand or person to begin with! #thereisaidit

This is my party, and I’ll write what I want to.

Now… on WordPress.

Oh, wait… did you not notice?! YES! After 420 posts (no lie: 420) on blogger…*drumroll* I am officially MommaNeedsABeer.com !

No more blogspot, better SEO, easier for people to find and read, etc. A special shout-out to the hubs who’s been working his ass off getting things transferred from blogger. He has been juggling a lot, and to throw this at him [a year ago] along with other random bullshit I throw at him on a daily basis, well, it has been an experience. Would I hire someone next time? Probably… not. Fact is, the hubs knew what I wanted changed, and what I wanted to keep the same… and he knows how picky, demanding, passionate ME. He worked hard to not only transfer 420 posts from blogger, but kept most of the design & format.

I’m still dealing with quite the learning curve getting it to look exactly the way I’d like, but take a look around. Have you checked out my fancy-pants drop-down menus!! Oh yeah!

So cheers to the hubs, and cheers to all of you. Whether you’re toasting with a beer, cocktail, coffee, water, etc — Thanks for being the non-judgmental, supportive readers a gal can feel comfortable expressing her honest-to-goodness thoughts to.

You guys rock.

 

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9 Comments

  1. Alissa
    Posted June 6, 2013 at 5:22 pm | Permalink

    Congrats on the move. It can be such a scary thing. Keep on keepin’ on!

    • mommaneedsabeer
      Posted June 7, 2013 at 7:02 am | Permalink

      Thanks, Alissa!! It IS scary… exciting too. Thanks for the support!

  2. Posted June 7, 2013 at 1:26 am | Permalink

    Whoo hoo!! Welcome to the WordPress jungle baby!! I have major major major FOMO, in fact that’s why I stopped tweeting. But I also realized that Babies & Bacon ain’t drawing any major Disney or BlogHer sponsorship either, although people tend to LOVE the name of the blog. I remember when I first stumbled upon your blog on Melissa’s Week in the Life challenge and thought “What?! Best. Title. Ever. AND she’s in Michigan?” I lost my mind a little with excitement.

    I obviously think that the big brands and the awesome sponsorships deserve to come your way but I also say fuck ’em. Do what you do in your authentic voice and you will find your people every time. And maybe those people don’t come with fully funded Disney vacations, but they may come with free beers. And that my friend…is pretty damn good.

    • mommaneedsabeer
      Posted June 7, 2013 at 7:06 am | Permalink

      Thanks, Alexia!! You are so right on. The main thing I’d like to gain from my blog? Memories, humor… and respect. I can worry about all the things I may or may not be “able” to do, or enjoy what I can. And btw, I squealed a bit when I saw YOUR blog title & realized you were in Michigan! Thanks for all the love!

  3. Posted June 7, 2013 at 8:50 am | Permalink

    No writer’s voice appeals to everybody and you can’t worry about that. Your audience gets what you’re doing and you’re killing it, so congrats and carry on, Momma!

    • mommaneedsabeer
      Posted June 7, 2013 at 11:01 am | Permalink

      You are too sweet, Rhonda! One of my biggest goals (not just in my writing, but in life!) is to remain true to my authentic self. Everything else tends to fall into place when I can stay focused on that goal.

      Maybe one of these days I’ll join your ranks and write an actual book… but that’s more of a “someday” goal.

  4. Posted June 7, 2013 at 10:01 am | Permalink

    Just watched Breakfast Club last night, still holds up today! Keep on writing as you do, your blog is great!

    • mommaneedsabeer
      Posted June 7, 2013 at 11:03 am | Permalink

      Thanks so much, Jacky! Cheers!

  5. Posted June 8, 2013 at 10:29 am | Permalink

    I appreciate your perspective on all the topics that crop up here. 😉

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  • By Good Girl Gone Redneck Guest Post on July 15, 2013 at 11:08 am

    […] learn. We recognize that there is judgment out there in blognia. Kelli’s recent postabout judging a book by its cover shares a few of her own experiences. I’ve shared some of my own, as well. I’ve talked […]

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