Girl Walks Into A Bar…

This post could go in many directions… get your heads out of the gutter, it’s not going in *that* direction. Sorry, guys.

But wait a second guys, not so fast. How many times have you taken a lady, or a non-beer-drinking-friend* to a brewery, and heard “but there’s nothing for me to drink there!”**

Let me help you with that.IMG_4303.PNG

I truly feel there is a beer for every pallet. Craft beer is full of many different flavors — you just have to find the flavors that you enjoy.

Tasting is key. Many bars and breweries will offer tastes of what’s on tap so you can try before you buy a full pint. This is super helpful for someone a little leery about a full pour of something they have never drank before. And yes, I have experienced full flights (typically 4-5 3oz pours) of crap before. But the thing is, the experience of tasting each of those beers was important for me to know that… hey, I don’t like these beers… glad I only tasted them! Check. Tasting is key for newbies and aficionados. It’s also super fun to do with friends.

Girl walks into a bar, and enjoys coffee and/or chocolate… 
Taste whatever stouts and porters are on tap. If there are enough for a flight, go for it. Stouts and porters may seem intimidating to non-beer drinkers, but they are among the most flavorful in the craft-beer world, and these age very well. Featuring levels of chocolate, coffee, smoke, spice, and beyond.

Girl walks into a bar, and wants something tropical… 
While I personally do not lean toward the sour or belgian beer style, when someone tells me they love tropical flavors, like pineapple, mango, banana, etc, I have them try a flight with a couple different belgian beers, and maybe a fruit-infused beer or two if that’s available. While it’s not my favorite style of beer, I know that everyone’s palate is unique!

Girl walks into a bar, and she’s watching her figure… 
This is a tricky one, especially if she’s keeping this information to herself. But waist-line-watching friends, here’s the secret –> the bulk of the calories are in the percentage. Stay under 6% and you will typically stay under 150 calories. There are a few breweries who are creating yummy 3.5% ABV craft beers now — and I love them for it. Of course, these same breweries still make a mad 12% — so they’re cool. Gotta keep the balance! All about the moderation. When in doubt, a Cream Ale (if available) is almost always the lowest caloric option, and typically smooth, light and delicious. But, also, don’t count out the surprisingly low-cal Oatmeal Stout! I’m telling you, there’s a lot to explore under 6%. Enjoy!

Girl walks into a bar, and likes something a little caramelly and rich, maybe with a hint of smokiness.
How about a little scotchy-scotch-ale? Or anything aged in a barrel? Bourbon or oak-aged anything can pack a surprisingly sweet punch of flavor. Just keep an eye out for these bad boys, because unlike the last category I mentioned, some of these can also smack you in the face with high alcohol… which isn’t only high in caloric bullshit, but alcohol, which can sneak up on ya, and-  yowza – anything above 9% is a one and done for me. Another nice bonus about flights: 3oz of a 10%-er won’t knock you out!

Girl walks into a bar, and enjoys the citrus side of life…
Oh, hello IPAs!! Here is where you can go crazy with a flight containing IPAs, Double IPAs, Triple IPAs, and maybe even a Pale Ale or two. YesCraft Beer Samplers, this is MY favorite style. 🙂 Sure, the flavors of pine in certain IPAs can taste bitter to some palates, making it an intimidating style for some. But fresh IPAs with aromatic hops like Cascade, Centennial, Mosaic, etc have surprising amounts of citrus. Double and Triple IPAs are surprisingly smooth, and were fun gateway IPAs for this chic. So if flavors and scents of grapefruit, orange and pine suit your fancy, IPAs may be for you.

Girl walks into a brewery, and wants a Bud Light…
OK, so here’s the deal: breweries only serve what they create — drink local! It’s awesome! If you really want something *like* a light lager, your closest bet may be a cream ale. Again, tasting is key. If you already know that you enjoy the taste of a beer, try a few of the brewery’s ales,go a little out of your comfort zone and test the waters, try a stout. You never know what you may fall in love with. You may have a new favorite, and may never go back to the mass produced, watered down swill again. HA!

Girl walks into a bar… and enjoys a little bit of everything. 
Oh hell yes! Girl, we must be friends. Pick one of each of the styles from the categories from above and have fun. I will do the same, and we will share each of the 10 beers, compare notes, laugh, express joy, love and/or disgust at one or more of our beers, and be bonded for life.

Rinse and repeat as necessary.

*I know there are guys out there who don’t like beer, too. For the sake of argument, and general flow of conversation, I am using the female pronoun for this article instead of, oh, I dunno, “Dude walks into a bar”. I am very well aware that more women are drinking beer these days, and there are men who don’t like beer as well. I am gender neutral, so if this is an issue for you, feel free to replace “girl” with “dude” in your heads as deemed necessary.***

**I know some of you have legit gluten allergies. Many breweries have begun catering to your needs with either gluten free beer and/or cider. The options are growing! Happy Drinking!

***Yes, my inbox was attacked on this obviously incredibly sensitive topic. Ya know how beer and gender stirs up controversy.

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