Recently, I likely offended a friend who showed up to a party with a case of Corona Light. I casually asked if that case of Corona Light was a piñata for the party. Because that’s all a case of Corona Light is good for, in my humble opinion. I told her I’d piss in some empty beer bottles if she’d like something with a little more substance.
I realize to some, I may sound like a bitchy beer snob… but honestly? I simply believe that friends don’t let friends drink shitty beer.
Listen up, calorie-conscious friends — I do get it. As someone who lost 50lbs 3 years ago, then proceeded to gain half of it back in correlation with a growing obsession with IPAs… I am familiar with watching [and panicking over] my caloric intake.
But when it comes to consuming beer, I will choose to make other sacrifices, such as skipping fried-bar-food in favor of sipping and savoring a delicious 400-cal pour of a double or triple IPA. Or… choose to accept the fact that my passion for craft beer may mean my belly will never be flat again. Decisions, decisions…
Life is too short for shitty beer!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy more women are letting their hair down & drinking beer with me… Momma Needs a Beer, right?! But how many times will these mass-produced beers send you to the bathroom to pee? How many of those 100-calorie, watered-down beers will you have to consume in order to match the delicious beer I’m savoring?
I think I’d have more fun smashing every bottle in a case of shitty beer than drinking it.
But that’s me.
And while yes, I believe everyone’s palate is different — maybe you do actually prefer drinking a mass-produced beer for various reasons — I know that some people fear that all craft-beer is full of calories, heavy & rich. So, I’m here to hold your hand through it… because there are actually low-calorie craft-beer options that aren’t as intimidating as one may think. But enough pussy-footing around…
It’s Beertervention time, bitches!
Here are 5 Beer City, USA Beers containing 150 calories… or less!!
Instead of Corona Light 4.5% ABV at 110 calories, try Brewery Vivant Farmhand 5% ABV or Perrin Grapefruit IPA 4.7% ABV at 140 cal/pint.
The extra 30 calories in these two Grand Rapids gems are worth every flavorful sip. Farmhand is a light Belgian that’s easy to drink on a summer afternoon, with a hint of banana (yes, I said banana) in the finish. Perrin Grapefruit IPA packs a punch of citrusy goodness that isn’t watered down & may actually open the door for you to try more bold flavors such as…
Founders All-Day IPA 4.7% ABV, also at 140 calories instead of a Bud or Miller Light 4.2% ABV at 110 cal.
It’s amazing how much flavor can be packed into a seemingly small package, yet still tastes like… get this… BEER. Citrus & hop lovers can absolutely agree on splitting a case of All-Day IPA anytime of year.
Instead of Guinness 4.2% ABV at 125 cal, try Harmony’s Black Squirrel 5.01% ABVat 150 calories.
This smoky porter is actually an ingredient in Harmony’s awesome Bloody Marys… and dayumn, it is a welcome addition. I wasn’t a huge fan of the Black Squirrel at first, but the VanDyke brothers have improved the recipe. The smoky flavor doesn’t overpower the beer, but you know it’s there, like you’re driving past a campground. Very smooth & surprisingly light, despite it’s dark, smoky color. More bang for your buck than the over-rated Guinness, IMHO.
Instead of Michelob Ultra 4.2% ABV at 96 calories, try Schmohz Oktoberfest 5.4% ABV at 125 calories.
Finally! A “light” craft beer that doesn’t look or even taste light. I had the pleasure of savoring this medium-bodied, malty beer recently with Chas at Schmohz. Chas said that as a brewer, he loves the challenge of creating low-alcohol beer: “There’s nothing to hide behind!” Whereas beers with a higher % of alcohol can be enhanced with extra hops & flavor… and alcohol… and calories. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… says the curvy, IPA-loving Momma.
What’s your favorite craft-beer containing under 150 calories?
Let me & other readers know in the comments below!