Looking Past the Book-Cover

You ever feel really good about yourself and then encounter someone who makes you second-guess that feeling? Fun, isn’t it? This past weekend, the hubs & I left the kids at Gram’s for the night and went out with some old friends. We ran into a few familiar faces at the hubs’ former watering hole that we haven’t seen in about a year or so. One of our old friends saw the hubs, but glanced right past me, and even looked confused as I went to give him a hug. I just chalked it up to him being too drunk to focus.

Cut to a half hour or so later, when said friend comes up to me & my friends just to say that he wondered who the Raggedy Andy doll was that walked in with Barney, then proceeded to ask me what the hell are you wearing? And your hair? Short & red?! What happened to you, Kel? I was confused. I hadn’t gotten such a negative reaction to my metamorphosis. Jerk didn’t even mention the weight-loss! Eh. Whatever. After my sarcastic Um, ouch? Wow. Nice to see you too! I averted my gaze to my friends and proceeded to laugh it off; I’m so cool, I’m not even going to acknowledge this silliness. I told myself he was drunk, laughed about it a few more times to random friends, who agreed and moved on. Didn’t want to be a buzzkill over a stupid remark some drunk, judgmental fool gave me. Who cares what he thinks anyway? I honestly don’t. Really!

The thing that gets me? I am a much happier person than I was a year ago. Am I a sellout for dying my hair & losing weight? No! I know who I am. So if someone wants to pin the sellout title on me, that’s their issue, not mine. Who’s this guy to judge me in one second flat and base it on nothing more than what I look like? What happened to me? Well, maybe I should’ve said something like this: Yes, I do look different than I do a year ago, I’m smiling, enjoying myself and not wasting my time over-analyzing jerk-store statements from morons. Shaddup, that’s so not what I’m doing right now. Stay with me here. But look closer, “friend” because I’m stronger and I’m at peace with who I am, inside & out. I’m confident about my life and know that I worked my ass off and went through some tough shit in order to look & feel this good, damn it. I can wear a fun dress in a shit-hole bar if I get the urge to do so. And if I feel like dying my mousy dark-blonde hair red every 6 weeks because it’s more me, I’m worth it.

On the drive back to GR, as everyone in my family slept but me, it hit me… the fear of change is huge back in my hometown. I get being comfortable and wanting to go where everybody knows your name. I get that, and I enjoy that every once in awhile. But how boring is life without a dash of excitement once in awhile? When does a routine turn into a rut? What would happen if you just went with the flow and changed one thing about yourself or your life? Doesn’t have to be a huge change. But nearly one year ago this month, I asked my stylist to dye my hair & I started a blog — both first time things that really weren’t huge changes at all, but they started a snowball’s effect of change within me that I absolutely appreciate & embrace daily.

Change can be such a positive thing, but it’s a huge challenge for many people to break out of their cozy routine. And it’s easy to look at someone who has gone through a metamorphosis and want to call them out on it, or to even be jealous of it. But the thing is, if that same judgmental person looked a little deeper, past that book-cover, they could be inspired by it, and possibly seek to improve something in themselves as well. So, the next time someone chastises me for changing, I’m simply going to agree, then ask what they’ve changed about their life lately. Wonder what they’ll say?

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8 Comments

  1. Posted March 22, 2011 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    How rude. what an ass.

    I’m glad you are in the space you are in now so you can shake off the stupid and embrace the positive changes you are bringing to your life. Embrace change and positivity!

  2. Chrissy Socia
    Posted March 22, 2011 at 3:00 am | Permalink

    I love this post Keli! I know what its like to make a change. I am one of those who still live in Bay City by choice. My choice to stay here was related to my dad, but, now its home. After losing my job 2 years ago, I decided a couple months ago, that I wanted more, and I wanted better for my family. We have been dealt a challenge with my son with autism, but still I wanted something more for us. So I went back to school. It was scary, but I did it, and I am so glad I did. It has already brought such a positive effect on my family. The kids see me studying, so they want to do good in school to just like mom. It has truly been the best decsion I have made,and I can’t wait to see what comes next! Keep up the great work. I love your posts!

  3. Posted March 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm | Permalink

    Thanks, ladies. I love what you’re saying Chrissy, you are a shining example of positivity! There are so many opportunities to break out of your comfort-zone, no matter where you live. I do know that the fear of change doesn’t exist for every person who lives back in BC. Many people love BC and live there by choice, embracing what they have, appreciating the family support that surrounds them — and that is a beautiful thing!

  4. Posted March 22, 2011 at 2:12 pm | Permalink

    I saw you of course, and you look fantastic! Makes me wonder who it was, because I may know the person. Even though mine is not as dramatic, because I still have a ways to go, I’ve dropped 20 lbs. since the holidays myself due to better choices and regular exercise. I can totally relate to feeling much better than a year ago! Congratulations again! And keep yer head up (i know you will). Maintaining better physical health helps the mind and emotions as well, big time! Although, I know you know this. 😉 Cheers, Sis! Great post.

  5. Eric
    Posted March 23, 2011 at 8:57 pm | Permalink

    Which one of the drunkards did that sis. What a waste of space. I think I got a good idea.

  6. Posted March 23, 2011 at 9:17 pm | Permalink

    It’s funny. I only had sisters growing up, and I always wished I had brothers just like you guys. Steve & Eric, you rock. But seriously, it’s all good. I’ve let it go, and it’s not even worth naming names because they were probably too trashed to even remember that tiny little tidbit of bullshit. I’m a tough cookie. Thanks for all the positive feedback, everyone!

  7. Posted March 23, 2011 at 9:52 pm | Permalink

    I love the last idea in your post of asking them what changes they have made lately. Love it.

    Great post. Love your hair and your blog. 🙂

  8. Posted March 23, 2011 at 11:29 pm | Permalink

    Eric,

    I would bet your hunch is correct.

    We had a complete blast regardless…

    Peace,
    Barney

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    Kelli Williams

    Kelli Williams

    Keeping up with 2 little girls, writing assignments, music gigs, the house, laundry, ETC, backwards, wearing ass kicking boots and a smile, without spilling my beer. Ok, ok, so I spill my beer, but my floors have never been more germ-free since I started putting a little alcohol on them. Who needs ammonia...

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