Losing it

I realize this blog title could go many ways, but today, it’s simple. Stop for a second & think about some of the most important things in your life. Things, not people. Don’t think about things very often, do ya? They just happen to be there most of the time and we take them for granted because we’re not supposed to cherish things

Until you lose them. 

When I was 19, still living at home, in the basement, we had a awful rainstorm that flooded our basement. We had about 4 feet of water, no wait, it wasn’t just water, it was sewage. So disgusting. I couldn’t sleep down there for about a week, and most of my clothes along with just about every big & little thing I had collected since I had moved down to the basement my sophomore year of high school. Yearbooks, special notes & cards from friends & teachers, pictures — in & out of frames, etc. Clothes & things like that can be replaced, but many of what I lost couldn’t be saved. 

As I poured over the disgusting wreckage that was once my safe-haven, I balled my eyes out as I found soggy, blurry prom pictures, my beautiful red prom dress, ruined from the waist down, a soggy yearbook I could barely open, etc. After an hour or so of one depressing find after another, I went through the 7 stages of death and finally hit acceptance. An hour later, I had basically put my high school years in a trash-bag, realizing it’s all just stuff

Cut to nearly 15 years later. I have 2 children and a husband I cherish with all my heart. We aim to capture every moment we can… but once it’s captured, we’re lazy about it. We don’t download the pictures onto a computer like an organized person should. They stay on our fancy-schmancy camera for months until we have 400 pictures we could probably sort as soon as we download them onto the computer, but we still don’t. The camcorder we got when we had our 2nd child is also digital, so no risk of over-taping moments, and again, we’re lazy about downloading that too. 

Monday, we lost it. The camcorder. With every big & little moment we’ve shared for the last 2 & a half years. That’s right. I just found out earlier that morning, when I ran out of space to record 2/3 of our way through the zoo, that we had never saved shit on this thing. How lazy can we BE?! And the sad thing was, I didn’t know who’s fault it was! We went to the zoo, and I had carried it for most of the day, but for some reason, I handed it to the hubs when I was getting the little one settled into her carseat. I couldn’t remember why I handed it to him, or if I had just thought about handing it to him and he couldn’t remember where he put it. I worried it had fallen out of my pocket during my camel ride with my oldest. I worried he had put it on the top of the truck and it was in 1000 pieces in the parking lot. Yup, I was losing my mind too! 

I revisited every major thing I have lost over the years in my head and got more depressed by the minute, recalling when the hubs lost his wedding band… which he never found (but, honestly? not a huge deal at the end of the day, really! We both got new matching bands and we renewed our vows on the beach, just the 2 of us), remembering the flooded basement, wondering where some random pictures of our children had disappeared to, if they were also lost for good off of our computer, and finally beating myself up for not taking more videos & pictures with something other than my iPhone lately. I was crushed. The hubs didn’t say much of anything, just shuffled through the house & my truck, searching, scrambling. He called the zoo, then Founders, where we had lunch after the zoo, and while he was on the phone, I decided to take ONE more look in my truck. I went to my truck, opened all the doors one more time, and finally, the glove-box, and there it was, staring at me. Holy shit! I walked in the house casually as the hubs was getting off the phone, and he looked at me holding the red camcorder and screamed “YOU FOUND IT?!” and he hugged me and cried happily. Then, immediately plugged it in to download everything onto the computer. I grabbed 2 beers and then we sat, silently relieved. 

Save your shit people, and back it up. Your kids will only be small for a blink of an eye. Capture these moments if you can, and save them for goodness sakes!! Things like this are irreplaceable. I do believe I have learned more lessons from life than in any book. This was a big one. And thankfully, not too painful… this time.

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