Opportunities vs Responsibility

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities 
brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.

– Charles R Swindoll. 

It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, 
but we cannot dodge the consequences of 
dodging our responsibilities.
Josiah Charles Stamp

Life is funny, isn’t it? Full of incredible opportunities, but they aren’t always feasible. Once you have children, the most common struggles we face as parents is walking this fine line between opportunity & responsibility. The opportunity of going to the Michigan Summer Beer Fest in Ann Arbor, for example, came up a few weeks ago, and we purchased tickets, now we just need to seal the deal on a baby-sitter. That is indeed doable. But I’ve been struggling with another opportunity for awhile now, and things just aren’t falling into place as easily: BlogHer. 

If you’re a blogger, you very likely know all about BlogHer. If not, follow the handy-dandy link and fill your head with all that is fantastic about the incredible opportunity to network & celebrate the wonderful world of blogging with a few thousand writers, many of whom I have only connected with through typed comments, emails, tweets & posts. I would love to be able to get some face-time with many of them, and connect with new friends as well! BlogHer is in San Diego this year, and ends the day before my birthday. I love San Diego… when we lived in Tucson, it was about a 5 hour drive, which we did 3 times, once, simply on a whim; just threw a tent in the trunk of my Purple Chevy Prism! Oh to be 21 again. Every time we visited SD, the weather was a perfect sunny & breezy 72 degrees, and I felt so alive & at peace while we were there. If the cost of living wasn’t so damn high, it’s very likely we would’ve moved there in a heartbeat back then. We stopped at an open house on a visit 10 years ago and couldn’t believe that the tiny little 1BR bungalow was $500K! That crushed that dream in a heartbeat! Even so, the hubs & I always felt so comfy-cozy with the city of San Diego that we vowed we would return when the opportunity arose. 

Here’s the opportunity, smacking us hard in the face, as I’ve been invited to a couple really sweet BlogHer parties, but what we didn’t realize when we made that vow? When the opportunity to visit SD again finally did arise, we would have 2 children to tend to, feed, clothe, protect and put through Catholic school! Raising children is hardly cheap. We thought we had money issues before we had kids… oy. The medical & educational costs alone are raping our wallet dry. Our 3 yr old has already been through 2 ear surgeries and requires an additional surgery as soon as we can get the funds together. We’re still paying off my foot surgery… I have had issues with migraines since giving birth to my youngest and the cost for 9 pills that eliminate the migraines? $300! Yup. for 9 pills. This week alone I’ve had to pop 3 of those suckers. And yes, I have tried other, cheaper alternatives, but they just don’t cut it. The good news is that we are close to meeting our deductible for the year, so hopefully the medical expenses will take care of themselves, at least for this year… soon. Unfortunately, not soon enough to cover the surgery my daughter needs… again.

Responsibility really sucks sometimes. So does reality. 

Cue the violins, right? I’m not writing this post to make you feel sorry for me, I never want anyone to feel sorry for me. Geesh. Who does?! I’m sure many of you can relate to this constant struggle of opportunity vs responsibility, even if you don’t have children. Asking for help is hard, ya’ll!! But here it goes. *deep breath* What I would really, truly appreciate is some level of support. From simply commenting below with some money-saving tips for me & my readers to offering a donation &/or a sponsorship to get me to BlogHer. I have received one small offer so far… I have been busy contacting many businesses over the last few weeks, so it’s moderately frustrating to only get a single bite, especially when I am offering something in return for donations. I also updated my Momma Needs a Beer store. I do get a tiny cut of this merch, so by purchasing a kick-ass t-shirt, shot-glass, iPhone cover, etc for you or your favorite Momma, you are indeed helping me! Here’s a code for $5 off a t-shirt that expires tomorrow: NEWSK0604.

I’m giving myself a deadline of next friday to get things squared away. If we can’t get the funds & the children taken care of by then, I can accept that. As much as I would love to take an opportunity for me and my humble little blog, my family comes first. Sometimes, responsibility does have to win over opportunity. In the meantime, I think I’ve earned a lunch-time beer.


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  1. Posted June 10, 2011 at 10:48 pm | Permalink

    Hope it all comes together. Question if I may – sorry, it’s a bit personal, but after child number 2, did you start taking a different birth control pill, or elect not to? I’ve had migraines since I started puberty. At the worst I was like you (and they didn’t have imitrex yet!). The doc put me on a few months of birth control pills (I was only 10 or so) and it broke the cycle enough to make the migraines more manageable. At the other end of the spectrum, when I started taking the pill in my early 20s, they screwed with my system enough that migraines again made a frequent, unwelcome appearance. After trying 4 or 5 different kinds (lower and lower estrogen levels) I gave it up altogether.
    The frequency picked up again for me after number two as well but it’s been counter balanced by my age. Generally they’re not as severe so I can cope but they can be debilitating.
    might be worth discussing with your doc?
    Hope you get everything worked out! SD sounds like a lot of fun… so does throwing the tent in the trunk and making a run for it!

  2. Posted June 14, 2011 at 7:08 pm | Permalink

    Responsibility does suck at times, but I hope you find a way to make it all work that goes well with your family! 🙂

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    Kelli Williams

    Kelli Williams

    Keeping up with 2 little girls, writing assignments, music gigs, the house, laundry, ETC, backwards, wearing ass kicking boots and a smile, without spilling my beer. Ok, ok, so I spill my beer, but my floors have never been more germ-free since I started putting a little alcohol on them. Who needs ammonia...

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