Oscar snoozefest

First of all — congrats to Krystin Ryder & Chrissy Socia!! They each won a $30 gift card to Celebration Cinema in my Oscar Giveaway. Thanks to all who entered!!

image courtesy of Sesame Workshop

Did anyone else watch the Oscars last night? I wanted to like it, I really did. Award shows are like crack to me. I don’t know why. I rarely judge someone for what they wear, but for some reason, I turn into Joan Rivers & Kathy Griffin when I watch the Red Carpet arrivals. I revel in watching all these big stars win or lose big awards. I talk to the TV like I know what I’m talking about. It’s silly. It’s over a stupid statue… but, it looks like the best party!! And let’s be honest here, we’ve all given some form of an acceptance speech in our heads, right? It’s ok, it’ll be our little secret. 

The hosts… I enjoy James Franco and Anne Hathaway, but I found myself cringing more often than cheering. The opening bit was great, but it wasn’t live. When the hosts made their live entrance, I was disappointed they didn’t step out of a DeLorean replica, oh, if I only knew that was just the tip of a huge iceberg of disappointment. I felt their nerves, and Anne especially reminded me of how I’d act if I had to host something, which is way uncool. I can write, I can perform a song on a stage, but I get that horrible nervous laugh when I have to speak & don’t know what to say, then I feel the weight of a million eyes on me like lead. Awkward! The thing is, I know some of the quirks weren’t completely James & Anne’s fault. The most annoying thing to me was the on-mic clapping & constant Woooing. Didn’t realize Anne was a Woo GirlHowever, the sound mixer could’ve cut their mics as soon as they were finished introducing whoever they were worshiping welcoming on stage. This isn’t a new problem. Note to sound dudes everywhere — when all you can hear is one person clapping, you can’t hear much else and it makes me want to turn the channel &/or cover my ears and sing-scream I can’t hear you I can’t hear you lalalalalala. Maybe this is just me, but the singularly loud clapping & wooing were grating on my nerves last night, it made it very difficult to watch because it happened way too often.

The Celebs… first of all, where was Jack Nicholson? Doesn’t he always sit front & center? Like an Oscar rule? Where was Johnny Depp? Julia Roberts? Jennifer Lopez? Angelina & Brad? Ben & Jennifer? Tom & Katie? Come ON! If any of you saw them and I just missed them, let me know. Sure, there were some big stars in attendance, like Oprah, Tom Hanks, Gwyneth Paltrow… I don’t know about you, but I’ve had about enough of Gwyneth Paltrow singing for awhile. How many shows has she sung on in the past month?! Sorry, but I really wished Jennifer Hudson would’ve gotten out the cane and took over for the nasal-heavy Gwyn. Although, I wasn’t very excited to see Celine up there either. Sorry Celine, didn’t miss ya! There, I said it.

The Awards… no shockers. NONE! ZZZzzzzz. Don’t get me wrong, I think most of the awards went out to the right people, but what fun is an award’s show without controversy. The only shocker was Melissa Leo dropping the F-bomb? Yawn. On the upside, I was very happy Natalie Portman won for Black Swan. One of the 3 Best Picture movies I actually saw!! I’ve watched that gorgeous girl grow up on screen, absorbing herself into a variety of roles, but Black Swan was insanely good and Natalie did an incredible job. If you haven’t seen it yet, brace yourself for the crazy & go. I also enjoyed the way Jeff Bridges & Sandra Bullock talked to each of the actor/actress nominees one by one; completely laid back, and honestly, kinda made me wish Jeff & Sandra hosted. Could’ve been a fun time, yes?! As for the speeches, I was very happy the only one who brought her notes to the stage was a costume director… or? not an actor. That’s a huge pet-peeve of mine. As I said earlier, we’ve all written acceptance speeches at some point, and I can’t imagine not having some idea of what you would say once you find out you’re nominated. I understand being nervous and your mind going blank, not wanting to forget anyone, but those intense moments make for the BEST speeches!!! And while I’m discussing great speeches, my favorite, hands down, was Christian Bale’s, who choked on his tears while he referred to his wife as being his mast through the storms & the love of my life. I was already wiping away tears when he goes onto say and to our little girl, who’s taught me so much more than I’ll ever be able to teach her. Uncle, okay?! You win my heart, Christian Bale, you win.  

I could go on about the dresses, the parties, other awkward moments, but what I’ve mentioned sums up my personal high & lowlights. If you really want to know what I thought about who wore what best, or whatever, email me! What did you think about the Oscars? 

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