Sneaking Away… and Getting Caught

The hubs was out of state all last week. This is something that happens every other month for us now, and our entire family has gradually adjusted to it over the last year.

Something we haven’t gotten used to? 
The exhaustion. 
The hubs & I don’t seem to sleep as well without the other. I’m not there to roll the hubs onto his stomach when he’s snoring, so he almost dies several times each night, and wakes up with a massive sore throat because his mouth was wide open all night. 
On my light-sleeping end of the world, I wake up at every creek, door slam from around the block and of course, the pitter-patter of a cat or child’s feet. If I wake up for any reason after I’ve gone to sleep, there’s no chance in hell I’ll get back to sleep… have I mentioned how bad my anxiety SUCKS?!
When the hubs gets home, the only thing we want to do when we finally hit our mattress together for the first time after several nights away? Sleep. That’s right. You would think that we’d want to make up for lost time, right? Get back into our once/week sex? HA! 

Let’s be honest here: in the moment, sleep seems like the most erotic thing we could do in that bed together. 

The first morning we shared back together as a family, we lazed around the house a bit. Once our coffee kicked in, we set the kids up with our iPhones while we decided if we were going to get dressed to go to church, or work on round 109 of leaf collection. As we talked, I started to get undressed… until the hubs grabbed me and started kissing my neck… which only meant one thing.

The hubs didn’t want to go to church or rake leaves!!

I told him he was crazy… the kids were downstairs… I hadn’t brushed my teeth… blah blah blah. 

It didn’t take much more convincing though, let’s face it, I’m easy, so we closed our door and enjoyed a sneaky-quiet-quickie.

As soon as we finished… I heard something at the door. The hubs was convinced it was the cat. So I hopped up off the bed, cracked open the door… and saw the cat laying next to my 4 year old on the floor. Sedona immediately jumped up “Why was da door closed? Why are you naked?” looks at the bed “Why is daddy naked?!”
I was expecting our 4yo less than I expected the hubs to nail me at 10am.

I try to be honest with my children as much as possible. But… I was completely unprepared to have the sex talk with my 4yo that morning!! The only answer I could come up with was “Uhhhhh…. we were getting dressed…?” 

Pretty sure I stated it like a question… because I was in total shock over everything that just occurred. I mean, I’ve been caught-in-the-act by a wide variety of people over the years… parents, friends, siblings, cops, but never my own child.
I have no idea what Sedona heard other than a squeaky mattress, but boy was I relieved my child respected a closed door! 
Sometimes the opportunity for sex with your partner presents itself in a multitude of circumstances. Why do we automatically assume that sex has to happen at night? After the children are in bed? Or in bed for that matter? I mean, at night, the kids are actually closer in proximity to us, with a higher likelihood that they could interrupt. So who am I to turn down the opportunity for spontaneous, middle of the day sex with my partner in crime?

When’s the last time you got caught in the act?

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3 Comments

  1. Posted November 14, 2012 at 8:24 pm | Permalink

    I loved everything about this post except for you feeling the need to defend yourself! Anyone who would take away that you’re a neglectful mom for reconnecting with your husband is someone to be very wary of.

    My hubby and I have never been walked in on as we try to remember to lock the door. But have had the occasional…”why is the door locked?” moments. (and our kids are 10yo+, so you know they’ve got to be suspicious).

    • Posted November 15, 2012 at 11:51 am | Permalink

      Thanks, Doni. I swear, that was the toughest part of this post: figuring out if a disclosure was necessary! But you were SOOOOO right on… that I removed it!

      Also… yes, we need a lock on our door.

  2. Posted November 23, 2012 at 3:29 pm | Permalink

    LOL! Oh, that’s terrible! While I’ve never been caught in the act (well, except the one time in which there was a slightly public encounter, but that goes with the territory), I did stumble upon my parents. Fortunately, I didn’t see anything more than the aftermath (ick!), but unfortunately, I was thirteen, so I totally knew what had just happened (double ick!). Yes, I was scarred for life. 😛

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