When does Priority #1 = You?

How often are you able to get out and do something fun with your girl-friends/sisters/cousins/etc? I only ask because for me, someone who does not fit into the “girlie-girl” mold, it doesn’t happen very often. I married my best friend, and we almost always have a ton of fun together, no matter what we do. It also helps that we share friends we can both hang out with. The “need” to go out without each other really doesn’t happen very often.


A few days ago I had a really rough day with my girls. It just felt like the longest day EVER. The 2 yr old gave me a run for my money at storytime, not sitting still for a second. Then we met our neighbors for lunch and she didn’t sit down there either! When we left, she threw a major fit the entire drive home. Once she went down for a nap, I had to deal with my 5 yr old, who decided to let her own stubbornness shine, just for me. Not worth getting into the details there, but over the course of an hour, I went from ignoring it to full-blown losing it.

Now, I can usually check in with the hubs throughout the day, either through chat or phone… but he seemed to be having a crazy day too, blowing me off several times. Typically, checking in with him, even for 5 minutes through chat, can help me get back my sanity and focus, especially on days like this one. Well, I didn’t have that safety-net. So, around 4:30p when shit hit the fan… again… I decided that I needed to take matters into my own hands. I finally connected with the hubs and told him I was leaving the house as soon as he got home. I didn’t know where the hell I was going, but I wasn’t staying in the nut-house because if I did, I’d probably be checking into an actual nut-house a few hours later.

I needed a BEER!

So, I checked in with my girl-friend to see if maybe, just maybe, she wanted to go to a LOUD bar where NO kids existed. And… the hubs again to see if he would be willing to take on an extra child (to be fair, when the oldest gets together with a friend, it is somewhat easier!) Even if none of this panned out, I was pretty sure I would end up at a bar, even if it was alone for an hour. HAD to reset my sanity.

All the planets aligned, and I ended up at the bar, for an impromptu girls’ night! No kids? Check. Loud bar? Check. Beer? Double check! It wasn’t a typical girls’ night, but we had a blast talking loudly about whatever the hell we felt like without children interrupting us. It really helped.

The next night, a friend of ours got in touch with us – he’s been traveling a lot for work and hasn’t been in town more than a night or two a month. Well, since I went out the night before, I figured the hubs could meet up with him and have a “guys’ night” for a change. Usually doesn’t end up happening like that, but this time it did!

So, I gotta ask you guys, how often do you do a girls or guys night? Do you make it a priority, or is it on an as-needed basis?? For us, it’s definitely as-needed, or as it comes up. But it is much easier to do a girls/guys night when you have put your relationship & your family at the top of your priority list. The hubs & I have a date night at least once or twice a month now, thanks to our awesome sitter! All of this makes a huge difference, because there’s no resentment when one of us wants to do something on our own for a change. Sometimes ya gotta add yourself to your priority list.

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  1. Posted October 26, 2010 at 4:51 pm | Permalink

    Yes, yes, yes I think it is absolutely necessary to hang out with strictly girlfriends on occasion! I normally get together with a group of girls a couple/few times a year for a “girls weekend” and just recently started having drinks with a friend every other Tuesday night. I love my husband dearly but we definitely need our “out” time separately sometimes. He doesn’t do “guys night” per say but he plays on a weekly Hockey league year-round, a Golf league in the summer and has many many other golf outings with buddies as long as there isn’t snow on the ground.
    I feel like as a SAHM, I’d go completely insane if I didn’t get out with the girls now and then. Ok, well I’m still insane most days but it surely helps! 🙂

  2. Posted October 26, 2010 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

    I so feel you. We only have one one year, but I do have a deployed hubby, so that makes up for having just one wee bebeh 😉

    Hubs and I are the very best of friends, hanging out together is what “resets”. Oh, we just love it.

    But, I find, when Jake is driving me BSC, even 10 minutes of reading in our room, while Jake watches Looney Tunes, or Spongebob, really, really helps. I just need to regroup, too.

    But, just like you checking in with your hubby, when I get that phone call once a week, or once every few weeks, whatever it may be, Jake could be trying to light me on fire and I wouldn’t care. Just the sound of his voice does it for me.

    I feel ya, mama. Take that time just for you for a sec. Before hubs left, he’d force me to get a pedicure, or go shopping by myself. He didn’t want to be away from me, and I felt the same, but he knew I needed to get out of the house sans Jake while I could.

    But, when he gets back, we’re going on a cruise JUST US!!!!!

    Good luck, mama 🙂 Great post!

  3. Posted October 26, 2010 at 11:04 pm | Permalink

    Completely agree with you! It is so necessary for a girls night and the impromptu ones are my fav…. although that doesn’t happen too much.

    My girlfriends and I are making a conscious effort to have a Moms Night Out once a month. Are all of the wonders of the universe lining up to make this happen EVERY month? No, not every month, but we’re trying and that’s a good start.

    Like you, my Hubs and I do try to get a monthly date night which does help so much. We definitely encourage each other to go out individually when the chance arises b/c it does make us so better together when we have a little time apart.

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    Kelli Williams

    Keeping up with 2 little girls, writing assignments, music gigs, the house, laundry, ETC, backwards, wearing ass kicking boots and a smile, without spilling my beer. Ok, ok, so I spill my beer, but my floors have never been more germ-free since I started putting a little alcohol on them. Who needs ammonia...

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