Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood?

Do you have certain people in your life you just wish you could live around the corner from?

I’ve learned to accept most things in life, but I think that’s among the hardest. When reality takes your close friend or family member to another city/state/country, and the friendship requires much more effort to remain connected. It can be frustrating when it takes more than an hour or two drive to simply hug some of your favorite people… especially when you’re going through a difficult time in your life.

When you have kids, the challenge of keeping up with relationships outside of your 2000 sq ft home become even greater. Then, something, dare I say… crazy-awesome happens, or at least it feels crazy when you have an opportunity to break out of your jail house. You make a date to get together with your old friend or beloved family member and actually follow through. You finally connect and it’s like no time has passed at all. Sometimes, you simply trade stories on the phone for an hour or two and don’t realize any time has passed at all.

Although I wish I could create a “neighborhood” full of my favorite people, I’m so grateful for the friends & family I have all over the world. Especially those of you who have gone out of your way to reach out to me through phone calls, facebook, twitter, emails, comments on here, texts… seriously. I even appreciate the texts. Trust me, I’m a Momma on the go, sometimes texting is all I have! Just as I typed this, I received a text from my wireless provider telling me I’ve gone over my allotted texts for the month. Shocker

It’s been over 2 weeks since my sweet little Tenacious D passed away, and we are still taking every day as it comes, trying our best to get back to whatever normal is. It kinda sucks. Some days are definitely more difficult than others. I look forward to the day I can take a shower without completely breaking down. Then again, I do leave my shower feeling a little more refreshed after my big cry. So who knows. There’s no real handbook to grief. Everyone handles it in their own way.

One of my friends said it best last week: “I think this is the hardest part, when reality is knocking and the world still continues to spin.” One of my cousins also shared a very wise statement about putting on my big-girl panties and finding the happy in order to move forward.

These are among the people I wish I lived around the corner from! Those above statements help on so many levels.

To quote the Richard Bach book There’s No Such Place As Far Away: “Can miles truly separate you from friends? If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?”

I feel so close to many of you, some of you I haven’t seen in years or even met in person… and I have definitely felt the love, support & friendship across many miles. Like the angels in my heart, my living friends & family are in there too. Yes, a neighborhood full of my favorite people would be nice, but I need to remember that I have a heart full of loved ones. I hope that the people who have connected with me & my family over the last 10 months know that they will be embraced by me for a long time to come. Those who haven’t… well, they may not deserve to live in my neighborhood. #thereIsaidit As tough as that is… sometimes, you need experiences like this in order to sift through and cleanse. Life is too short to be wasting your life wondering where or why this or that person seemed to stop giving a shit. Instead, I will cherish all the amazing people I do have in my life. Because ya know what? Moments like this uncover the best in people too, and I have been incredibly blessed & lucky to have people like you — yes, YOU — in my life.

Good riddance, January 2012. Cheers to a Fantastic February!!

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11 Comments

  1. Posted January 31, 2012 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

    I think some people just feel helpless, or that with the flood of support and comments, there’s nothing more they could say or no other way to say it, or that they don’t want to be all up in your family’s grief when they haven’t been in touch for a while. Not saying they should move into the neighborhood, just offering a different way to think about intentions, for whatever it’s worth. For me, grief is very, very, private and I don’t want people poking around (like at all–my dad died in 2007 and I haven’t even had a funeral for him yet). But then, I have no idea what you’re talking about, exactly, or what you’ve experienced that leaves you feeling this way. Been thinking of you all (and YIPPEEEEEE on the exciting Flatter family news!).

    • Posted January 31, 2012 at 8:55 pm | Permalink

      I completely know what you’re saying, Rhonda. I’ve been wavering between wanting people around and wanting to hide under the covers in bed all day. And, just for the record, I wasn’t pin-pointing my finger at any *one* person. I reconnected with some incredible people this past year… and lost touch with others. It’s been a long 10 months… I have some anger to work through, obviously. Bottom-line: I’m working on moving forward. And I’m absolutely looking forward to the next several months! Because… they *will* be better. Dammit.

    • Posted January 31, 2012 at 9:01 pm | Permalink

      They will!

    • Posted February 1, 2012 at 12:37 am | Permalink

      Kelli, I feel blessed to have YOU in my life! <3

    • Posted February 1, 2012 at 8:58 am | Permalink

      Sandy — the feeling is completely mutual!! One of these days, we need to ditch our 5 kids and have a beer together. 😉

  2. Posted February 1, 2012 at 5:28 pm | Permalink

    Take your time, Kelli. Grief can’t, and shouldn’t, be rushed. Delaney’s passing hurt even those of us who never knew her, so I can’t imagine how fresh that wound must still feel for you guys. But hopefully each day will get better, one by one, and that little angel will be with you all the whole way. And we’ll be down here for you, too.

    • Posted February 2, 2012 at 9:11 am | Permalink

      Thank you so much, Jocelyn! I really appreciate the amazing level of support from people like you!!

  3. Posted February 1, 2012 at 10:16 pm | Permalink

    I agree with Jocelyn here. 🙂 Take your time and grieve. Yes, it sucks (I’m so sorry!) but allow yourself to be in the moment. I can recommend a really good meditation series for difficult times. It definitely helps you sort through the pain. Let me know if you’re interested…

    I also would love to make a neighborhood of my favorite people, because frankly… almost none of them are near me!! Perhaps someday we’ll connect and throw back a few in person. 🙂

    HUGS!

    • Posted February 2, 2012 at 9:14 am | Permalink

      Sounds like a plan, Vanessa. I think we’ve come about as close as we can to have a beer together, without actually “being” together! Cheers to that!

      Email me the meditation series when you get a chance. Thanks so much! Really appreciate it.

  4. Posted February 4, 2012 at 8:31 pm | Permalink

    I would SOOO love to live in your neighborhood! Cold booze, no problems with the honesty policy, lots of laughter and solving the worlds problems…

    Really, I can relate to this post on so many points. Grief is one of the most personal things I’ve ever gone thru. Amazing how everyone has their own triggers and emotional responses to things that are sometimes very random.

    Have you read that email about friends being in your life for a season, reason or a lifetime? I have had a couple friends that have seemed to fall out of my life in the past 6-8 months or so and am trying to focus on that theory instead. It’s crazy how some people it is easy to catch up with no problems, yet others there is more emotion attached. I could go on about this one for awhile tonight… it’s really been on my mind.

    Anyway — enough with my rambling. Glad I was able to say a little something to help you out. Wonderful to hear that things are balancing out a bit for you!

    • Posted February 6, 2012 at 10:47 am | Permalink

      Carla… you are such a sweetheart. It always helps to know that there are people who can relate to your situation.

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    Kelli Williams

    Kelli Williams

    Keeping up with 2 little girls, writing assignments, music gigs, the house, laundry, ETC, backwards, wearing ass kicking boots and a smile, without spilling my beer. Ok, ok, so I spill my beer, but my floors have never been more germ-free since I started putting a little alcohol on them. Who needs ammonia...

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